Obesity and the Fear of Sex

[Carol]

You know how people handle your looks when you go out in public. People laugh at you. They might point at you. You look in the mirror and what do you see? You see a fat person that people laugh at. All these negative feelings follow you straight to the bedroom when you are in a relationship.

You are finally at that stage where you and your partner are ready to have sexual intercourse, yet when you look at yourself you aren't' happy with yourself. You think your butt is too big and so much more. You wonder if you will hurt them. You wonder what they will think of you when you are in the nude. The obese person has a lot of fears when it comes to sex and their weight.

Many obese people wonder why the person likes them so much and then wonders how long they will stick around. The obese person has an issue with not only how they look. They also have an issue with trusting that someone won't leave them after they see how they look when they are completely naked.

Getting over this fear is hard work. It takes time and a lot of encouragement. Whether you are the person who is obese or are dating or are married to an obese person, you need to be able to show yourself that you are comfortable with not only the way they look, but with how you look as well. You need to be able to see the great things that accompany the looks. You need to think about feelings.

If you are with someone who is obese, you need to reinforce the things you love about them. This means the physical as well. They will be looking for all the negative things about themselves. They will almost expect you to focus in on them. Society has made them to be like this. We tell them what they should look like. We tell them that they can't have a certain type of guy or girl. You need to explain to them that you don't care what society thinks. Being able to help them see the great things about them will help them to rest assured that you aren't going to go anywhere.

When you have sex for the first time with an obese person you need to make sure that you aren't in for a quickie. They need to know that the minute it's over you will still be there for the more romantic things that come afterward. If you just leave, then you are no better than the ones who can't handle their weight.

Being obese can really play with a person's head. The mind almost plays mind games with them. These mind games that their own mind plays on them instills this feeling that they will never be good enough and they will never satisfy anyone. Be that sound system that tells them otherwise. They deserve sexual love just as much as any other person.